Auntie Mame: A Tale for Today, Tomorrow, and Always!

“Life’s a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death.’ –Auntie Mame



Who’s Auntie Mame?
She’s my heroine and mentor, a larger-than-life character. The movies, Broadway plays and musicals that tell her madcap story are based on the novel by Patrick Dennis, a book inspired by his real-life aunt. However, it was Rosalind Russell who brought Mame to life most in her 1957 stage performance and the 1958 movie, “Auntie Mame.” Her message? “Live, live, live!” She was an adventurer who advocated opening new windows and doors every day.

Mame has a lot to teach us, not only about getting the most from life in all its stages, but also how to deal with our current hard times. To quote Mame in the lyrics from the musical:

"We need a little Christmas right this very minute!”

We could use a lot of Auntie Mame--now.


The Basic Story
1928: Mame’s conservative stockbroker brother has just written his will. To his dismay, he is forced to leave his only son, Patrick, to Mame, his crazy sister and only living relative. He knows it’s just a formality, because he’s in perfect health. But just in case, out of concern for her influence on the boy, Mame’s brother names a conservative banker, Dwight Babcock from the Knickerbocker Bank to be Patrick’s trustee and to handle all the money.

As fate would have it, Mame’s brother drops dead at his health club the next day before the ink is dry on the will. Soon Patrick and his dad’s loyal Irish housekeeper, Nora Muldoon, arrive at the door of Mame’s apartment on Beacon Place in New York City. Their first encounter sets the stage for the rest of the story.

Mame is hosting a wild party with all kinds of bohemians and foreign dignitaries. Her close friend, flapper, and actress, Vera Charles, is suffering the latest effects of Mame’s free-flowing bootlegged booze. Being “hung” after one of Mame’s nightly parties and sleeping the next day past noon is par for the course at Beacon Place.

Patrick’s companion and former housekeeper, Nora, thinks she has brought the boy to a den of iniquity. Mame, though, wins him over immediately, and her bond with Patrick is instantaneous. “Come to me, my little love. I’m your Auntie Mame!”

But it’s not all fun and games. Mame’s worst hour is when she is caught defying Babcock’s edict to send Patrick to a stuffy, snooty boys’ school. Babcock discovers Patrick has never shown up at the school of his choice. Rather, the boy has been romping naked at an “experimental” school in the Village run by one Mame’s bohemian friends. Babcock arrives just as the kids and staff are acting out the way fish spawn. Not impressed by the spirit-freeing practice of nudism or such hands-on biology lessons, Babcock sends Patrick to a far-off boarding school. It breaks Mame’s heart.

Feast before Famine, a Tale for Tough Times
Soon, Mame’s heart was not the only thing broken. By now, it’s 1929—and you guessed it—Mame and all her wealthy friends are broke with the stock market crash. (Sound familiar?) How does Mame’s philosophy of “live-live-live!” cut it during the Depression? What does this heartwarming story tell us about living through tough times and flourishing in life all the way to the finish line?

For starters, Mame is not too proud to go back to work and open her mind to new ways of making a living. She tries three things—all disasters. When Mame goes back to acting and turns a Shakespearean style play into an episode of “I Love Lucy,” the star, her friend Vera Charles, is not amused. It just intensifies their ongoing rivalry since they acted together in days gone by.

Next Mame tries her hand as a switchboard operator. Remember, those were the days when the operator made the connections. Soon her board looked like a bowl of spaghetti after an earthquake. There were so many hang-ups and disconnects flying, she probably caused several international incidents.

But as they say, the third time’s a charm. The final job was still disastrous—an attempt at being a clerk at Macy’s during the holiday season. Mame couldn’t get the hang of writing anything but a COD order, or of how to keep her carbon paper from trailing out of her sales book. But here’s where the charm comes in. Mame nearly botches a sale with a rich, handsome Southern gentleman named Beauregard Jackson Picket Burnside. They fall in love and marry. Happy and prosperous days are here again!

Unfortunately, Mame’s bliss with Beau was short-lived. A shutterbug, during one of their trips around the world, Beau falls off an Alp stepping backwards for better perspective while taking Mame’s picture. After a lengthy gig as a melodramatic widow, Mame finally takes heart in writing her memoir, “Live, Live, Live!” This new project brings more amazing adventures to Mame, nephew Patrick, and their family of friends.

Mame’s Message for All Seasons
Whether life was up or down, Mame believed we should always, “open a new window, open a new door,” those juicy lyrics from the musical version, “Mame.” (Mame was played on Broadway in the musical version by Angela Lansbury and the movie musical by Lucille Ball.) Mame was rich in friends, an exchange that never crashed. Her loyal staff paid her bills with their savings when Mame was penniless. While we can’t all marry a rich Southern gentleman, Mame oozed integrity. She married Beau because she was in love with him, when her easy out, earlier, would have been to marry “dear Lindsay,” her prosperous beau before Beau. Mame refused to do in hard times what she hesitated to do during good times.

When the going got tough, Mame got creative. She wasn’t too proud to pawn her belongings. When her spirits needed lifting, she insisted that her little family celebrate Christmas early, because, “We need a little Christmas, right this very minute!”
Mame’s spirit was indomitable, her mind and heart both as open as the great outdoors, she had principles and a lust for life rarely matched. These are just some of the reasons why she’s my role model, but add one more. As a person not blessed with children of my own, auntie has been one of my most beloved roles in life. My nieces and nephews, no doubt, see me as their “unusual” Auntie Joyce, too.

Finally, like the baby boomers who read this blog, Mame just got cooler as her hair was touched by gray and she had a great-nephew to “open new worlds” for.

Mame Is Eternal
Recently on Facebook, I was asked to answer “44 Odd Things about Me.” Since I believe life doesn’t end with physical death, it was easy for me to answer the question, what song would you like played at your funeral?"

Open a New Window, Open a New Door …”

~~~

If Mame’s story inspires you, why not rent the DVD today? If you’re on Netflix, it’s available as a download right to your computer screen. Don’t underestimate the power of a funny movie with a fabulous message to uplift you during trying times or anytime.

Incognito: Costumes and Other Cheap Thrills

I have always loved costumes and reported in a previous post my penchant for getting up like Auntie Mame, the Purple People Eater, and a Christmas Tree, among other alter egos.

My first mystery novel, on the back burner for editing, is set at a costume affair called The Crystal Ball. It’s the 25-year anniversary of a longevity organization in San Francisco. The revelers are invited to Come As You Will Be in the Next 25 Years. You have no idea how much fun I’m having with that! I can invent costumes without regard to the problem I have in real life—mechanical execution. For example, Micki Michaels, the protagonist and head of PIOPEA, the Physical Immortalists on Planet Earth Association, attends the bash as a DNA molecule. Think the bar scene in Star Wars gone biotech.

What is it about costume parties, costume balls, and dressing up that gives us a cheap thrill like no other? In fact, the longstanding costume shop from the hippy dippy heyday of Sacramento is called Cheap Thrills. It remains a local cultural icon.

Psychology of Costumes
No question in my mind will remain unanswered a click away from Google. It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to know that our choice of costume says something about us. However, I found a fascinating exercise proposed for teachers of clinical psychology. In a way, that’s all of us. Life is the clinic! The exercise: (1) Write down costumes you have worn in the past, (2) Write the costumes you’d like to wear in the future—then, (3) Let others in a class setting (or a gathering of family or friends) tell you what costumes they’d choose for you. Do I want to know?

I even found suggested costumes for introverts! Again, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that introverts don’t like being the center of attention, but certain costumes are easier to hide behind than others. Or bestow a bit of of the brazen. And for those of you who want some costume interpretations without thinking too hard, click here for some expert opinions from a psychologist.

My Stab at the Costume Exercise
1. Costumes Past: You already know I’ve been Auntie Mame, the Purple People Eater, a cosmic cowgirl, and a Christmas tree. Oh, and Glitta from the Planet Glitz in a Golden Galaxy, dripping gold, not 14-carat.

2. Costumes Future: I decided I had to write down my pure desires, regardless of how ridiculous I might look in these get-ups at my current age, weight, etc. Try not to laugh too hard: trapeze artist, ballerina, CSI (complete with disposable gloves and that nifty specimen collection kit), and a private eye (beige trench coat and sunglasses). I suppose these all make sense, as I try to keep my balance while navigating the mysteries of life.

3. How My Friends Would Dress Me Up. Several of them were game! I just sent them an e-mail. Here’s are some of the surprising results with my parenthetical reactions:

-- I could see you in a Dorothy costume with cute little Toto in tow. (I hope it’s only my wide-eyed wonder of a child and my tendency toward glitzy accessories. I’d kill for those sparkly red shoes!) Yes, plus your persistence to get to your goal and help get others there, too, and to overcome obstacles and pick up friends along the way that are definitely not mainstream thinkers… which is a good thing! All of the Joseph Campbell mythic journey is wrapped up in the one little story... you’re living it!

--I am not sure what costume I can see you wearing, but one of my favorite all- time costumes is a clear trash bag filled with colored balloons and the person inside wearing a leotard and tights in a bright color – and they are a bag of Jelly Bellies! (You were channeling! I love Jelly Bellies!)

-- Don’t laugh…I can see you in an Elvira costume. Also, Lily Tomlin as the little girl with the big lollypop. (I’m nothing if not versatile.)

Now, don’t you just have to try this for yourself?

All-Time Favorite Costume Ideas and Incidents
I tend to be most impressed with costumes that are objects of some sort. I think it’s much easier to portray a person—I already am one—than a thing. Morphing into an animated object takes real talent. One costume that caught my eye was someone in a paper box crafted as a traffic light, complete with ovals of changing colors—Go, Caution, STOP!

Here’s my most hilarious costume incident. Our neighbor down the street, a fun guy, but never known to be on the bold side, showed up early on Halloween night as an adult trick-or-treater. He was wearing one of my coveted costumes—a trench coat—only he had a different job in mind for it. As I opened the door, he ripped opened his coat like the proverbial dirty old man played by Arte Johnson on Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In. His exposé revealed a large salami and two rounds of cheese hanging from his belt. (He was otherwise fully clothed.)

He got the last surprise when he stepped across the threshold and saw that he had just “exposed himself” to my sixty-something mother-in-law. A proper lady, Mom fortunately had a great sense of humor, but she still couldn’t put Paul at ease, who skulked home, embarrassed about his flashdance.

Probably the most clever costume party I ever heard of was called a Cocktail Party, and it was literal to its name. It happened in Wisconsin in the ‘70s. People came dressed as cocktails. I can only imagine the Harvey Wallbanger. I would have gone as a mint green Grasshopper. There was a Pink Lady, a Tequila Sunrise, and my favorite—six people who walked in together with a big brown box around them, bottle caps on their heads—a six-pack! Contest: Tell me how we’d adapt this to modern day. How would Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, or Charlotte from Sex & the City dress up like a Cosmo? I can’t begin to imagine where this would take one of my favorite boomers, the Martini Diva, but I know she’ll Comment and tell your herself! (Sex on the Beach-a-tini would, no doubt, be the life of the Cocktail Party!)


Sacred/Secular

Like Day of the Dead that follows it on November 1, Halloween is a mixture of the sacred and secular--of life and death. Overall, the holiday has become highly commercialized and more people, adults included, are into decorating and dressing up. Seasonal costume shops are cropping up on more corners. For those sensitive to it, there is no denying that All Hallow’s Eve is a night where the veil between worlds is thin.

Halloween is a celebration of the hidden mysteries of life and the mystery of our own multifaceted natures—the parts still hidden inside us. As you get ready for this annual night of tricks, sugar rush, and brushing elbows with ghosts and goblins, see what you discover about yourself in the fun, in the disguise—in the touch of the forbidden—in the magic.


Photo: Joyce as Auntie Mame, Halloween 1985. This photo is featured only because I could not find the Purple People Eater or Christmas Tree pics. Maybe they’ll surface by next Halloween.