The Fairy Godmother Wands You!

Gift Ideas. Last year, I wrote a post about my gift for gifts called The Fairy Godmother. I invited readers to Comment and share some of their best gift ideas, too. The results were fabulous! Many of you said the exchange sparked ideas for your holiday shopping lists. We could all use a little help this time of year. I’ve decided to invite my Fairy Godmother persona back for another visit—to make her magic dust and gift tips an annual feature. Voilà! Here are this year’s flicks from the Godmom’s Gift Wand:


(SPOILER ALERT! If you are someone who normally gets a holiday gift from me, don’t look, as I may be talking about the gift you haven’t gotten yet this year.)

• eBaybe Basket - Our niece has recently become a passionate eBay shopper. Inexpensive baskets make the base for many of my gifts. After the season last year, I got three nesting holiday baskets in green and red for next to nothing. I used the medium-sized one for this collection of goodies: a nifty, electronic kitchen timer for making sure she doesn’t miss those last-minute bids; a pound of Bad Ass Coffee, a company whose name and donkey logo send the right message about being an online shopper in stubborn pursuit of winning the latest auction; and an eBay gift card. I lined the basket with raffia style “grass” and used my computer to create a tag that reads eBaybe Basket.

• A Trip Down Under – Some of our relatives can’t travel much anymore due to limited mobility. I figured out a way to send them to Australia, and they only have to go 10 miles from home to get there—no airport security, three-ounce jar limitations for carry-on, and no baggage fees. In fact, no baggage at all except an appetite! I found a darling little stuffed kangaroo at Barnes & Noble online. His pouch is perfect for fitting a gift card to Outback Steakhouse, that yummy Aussie-themed restaurant. I made a special card modeled after an Australian postcard, touting the features of this trip Down Under, no passport needed.

• Relief for the Older Relative Who Has Everything - One of my relatives is a challenge for being of a certain age where he has most everything he wants or needs. Also, he travels from across the country to be with us for the holidays. Anything I get him needs to pack well for the return trip. At my local CVS Pharmacy, I stumbled across Sarah Peyton’s Hot & Cold Personal Spa Set. Aside from sounding like the name of my blog, it has soft wraps with therapeutic gel inserts than can be heated or cooled for the aches and pains that invariably go with the turf of an octogenarian—or a someone often much younger. (Me!)

• Peace on Earth Bracelets - I love that the peace sign is back! It’s that time of year when we talk most about Peace on Earth. I found wood bead bracelets at Mixed Bag, one of my favorite local boutiques, that have tiny, sterling silver peace sign charms on them. They are perfect for two of my friends, who are as dedicated as I am to being part of the Peace. One of the most beautiful compliments I ever received was from my late, great friend Garry. Writing about me, he said, “She’s all about peace on the planet.” I love recognizing sister peacekeepers in such a lovely way! (Aside to the astro-savvy: These two friends and I, as a trio, call ourselves The Venus Girls for having the planet Venus in a prominent in our charts. If someone you know is a Venus Girl—especially if she’s a Libra or Taurus—two of their big loves are peace and beauty, and this bracelet covers them both.)

• Coffee Lover - Last year I focused on another love of my eBaybe niece—Starbucks. We have two credit cards where we accumulate points for purchases. They can be redeemed for gift cards. We often cash in our points for holiday gifts, as in this case. I bought a lovely reindeer gift box for $3 at Michaels, square and deep with the design both inside and out. I put in a gold mug. In the mug is the Starbucks gift card. Also in the gift box was frankincense and myrrh soap by Indigo Wild. The brand is Zum Bar, and it’s made from goat’s milk. I buy the soap at our local Natural Foods Co-op or Whole Foods. It smells divine! However, to unacscentuate that part of the gift till opening and so it doesn’t mingle with the smell of coffee with possibly strange results, I wrapped it in clear cellophane wrap. It sits in a bed of white sparkly “grass” that looks like snow. Behind the mug is a half-pound of Starbucks Christmas Blend in its shiny gold package. I created a bubble in Word and cut it out, so that the deer inside is thinking/saying: There is no greater gift than Love—followed by gold, frankincense, myrrh—and Starbucks!

• For the Runner on Your List - I gave my friend Wendy the book, Women Who Run by Shanti Sosienski. In interviews with numerous women, it explores why women run, what drives them, and what continues to spark their interest in the sport. Even before she pounded pavement, Wendy had some “tootsie trouble.” To help keep her feet in good running condition, I also gave her some new-fangled toe stretchers that can help realign the lower digits if you have any podiatry problems like hammer toes or bunions. While the running book and toe stretchers were Wendy’s gift last year, think of the possibilities for the runner in your life that could accompany a book about running: good padded socks like Thorlo’s, sweat or wrist bands, or iPod download gift cards to make the run both a walk and a concert in the park.

• Literary Mama - My friend Lucy is an excellent writer, but motherhood and working have put literary efforts on the back burner for her. However, she wants to take the pot out and stir it as often as she can. I got her the book, Literary Mama: Reading for the Maternally Inclined by Seal Press. Mom-writers share the growth they’ve gained through motherhood. Writer’s Digest offered me a free gift subscription if I renewed early. I asked Lucy; she wanted it. This part of the gift wasn’t a surprise, but I asked them to start it with the January issue and bought her a single copy of the December issue to go with the book. It gave me something to present besides just a gift card and served as a preview and “teaser” till her subscription kicked in.

• For Your Favorite Travelers – Another great find for my uncle who travels from afar and around the world is the Travelon Leather ID and Boarding Pass Holder. It’s a fashionable, practical, hands-free “necklace” for your travel documents while doing the airport security jig. What’s more, it passes the true test of a great gift find. I want one!

• Seasonal Delights - Last year, for my sister in Pennsylvania, I put together a seasonal package with a tag that read, Open Before Christmas. Enjoy all season! Starting with a holiday tote bag I got for $4 at Barnes & Noble in a special seasonal promotion (they have them again this year), I started filling it with the darkly playful humor of one of my favorite memoir writers in his gut-buster, Holidays on Ice: Stories by David Sedaris. Also in the package were my favorite frankincense and myrrh soap and a Santa mug filled with packets of exotic hot chocolate blends. I got a kick just thinking of introducing my sister to David and his holiday antics. I could see her sitting in her house, sipping hot chocolate. I added a personally made card (MS Publisher). On the outside, it said Merry Sismas with a vintage boomer photo of the two of us at ages 12 and 13. I added a personal note to the sentiment: Having you for a sister makes it Christmas every day of the year! 

This last idea can be modified to fit any favorite friend or relative. Even the family curmudgeon might enjoy a copy of Scrooge, book or DVD. Add one of with those hilarious cloth gift sacks marked Naughty, containing licorice or other goodies as “lumps of coal.” I just bought a relative one of those cool money jars available at every other store this season. It has a digital gismo that counts your change as you put it in. Wouldn’t your favorite Scrooge enjoy counting his cash while everyone else revels? Oh, and don’t forget a set of earplugs so he can’t hear the carols. And one of those lapel buttons that says “Bah, Humbug!”

I hope this “conversation” has brought out your inner Fairy Godmother! Please have her visit the Comments with any ideas for this annual gift idea exchange.

Don’t forget, Google and your mouse are your best friends during this time of year. No crowds, no parking problems, no snarky shoppers or crabby clerks. However, you must stock a box cutter at home and recycle all the cardboard that will overflow as delivery trucks bring the holiday right to your door.

May your joy in giving catch fire and light the world this holiday season. Peace!

~~~

Photo credit: HOLIDAY © Lenta Dreamstime.com

Word Peace

Words are as strong and powerful as bombs.

—Dorothy Day, journalist, social activist, pacifist

Let the truth be your delight … Proclaim it, but with a certain congeniality.

–St. Catherine of Sienna, contemplative, server of the sick, reformer, mystic

These quotes from two sage women touch on the effects of being outspoken—its impacts on others and ourselves. In the past week, I heard about two clergymen who risked their jobs and flocks to speak their peace. A friend urged me to blog about it. I hesitated, because this is more controversial than my normal fare, but following the lead of these two brave men, I felt it was worth the risk.

How do we deal in the modern world with deeply held beliefs, even those we consider matters of life and death, while honoring those who disagree with us? When do we simply have to speak out—and how?

Practice Makes Perfect, Not Practicing Makes War
The American presidential election gives us plenty of opportunity to practice what we do with our differences of opinion, both religious and political. On the broader world stage, these differences often lead to bombs of the literal variety. But as Dorothy Day observed, we volley the first bombs in our words.

Word bombs, incendiary debates, and inflammatory e-mails have no place on the path toward peace on earth with the possible exception of venting frustration among our sounding-board intimates—not aimed at those with opposing views. The longer we live, the more younger people look up to us and even our peers take our opinions more seriously. They know what we think is seasoned with a fully built character and a lifetime of experience. If anyone should watch our words, it’s those of us considered older and wiser. I am a work in progress when it comes to keeping my cool in hot debates. If anything, I tend to take the more cowardly route of avoiding them.

Example of a Heated Debate—Same-Sex Marriage
Here in California, the State Supreme Court has opened the door to same-sex marriage, determining it is unconstitutional to deny gays the right to marry. As we are infamous for on the Left Coast, we self-govern by ballot initiative. Proposition 8 would overturn this Supreme Court decision, if it passes next month.

I was wowed by the way a local Sacramento minister and a priest in nearby Fresno spoke their consciences on this subject, even though they hold opposite views of Proposition 8. One is for overturning the Supreme Court decision; the other is against it. Both respect and welcome gays into their spiritual communities. Their courage and heart give me hope that love is overcoming fear in our world. In case you haven’t heard of them, let me introduce you:

Rev. Rick Cole is pastor of a huge, conservative church in Sacramento called Capital Christian Center. While he supports Prop. 8 to overturn same-sex marriage, he is disturbed by the hateful rhetoric around it. His sermon drew tears as he talked about his sense of duty to speak out. "Jesus addressed the issues of his day," he says. "But he spoke with gentleness and compassion." The Sacramento Bee contains the full details of his moving pitch to treat all people by the Golden Rule.

Fr. Geoffrey Farrow was pastor of Saint Paul Newman Center on the campus of the University of California - Fresno. I say was, because predictably, when he came out against Prop. 8 and out of the closet as a homosexual, all in one homily at Sunday Mass, he was summarily dismissed from his priestly duties. He knew he would be. A day later, the new pastor’s bio was already on the Center’s website. Fr. Farrow could no longer remain what he considered “an accomplice to moral evil” in denying rights to gays. That he is gay, himself, he believes is a secondary issue. Here are details of his homily. For those interested in following up on the aftermath, visit Fr. Farrow’s blog.

“We Should Worry Less about How We Love and More about How We Hate”
An acquaintance of mine said this to me when, to her surprise, she discovered she was gay. This happened long after she was divorced and still co-raising children with her ex. If people get so upset over love between consenting adults, how do we control our passions over the truly life-and-death disagreements such as abortion, euthanasia, and war?


Protest the War of Words
I am not here to persuade you toward my worldview, which is moderately left of center in most matters. I do encourage you to think about how you use words.

Here are some examples of what I see peers doing that do not promote peace and some suggested alternatives:

-- Abstain from name-calling and mud slinging toward political candidates. Whatever side of the fence you’re on, railing and playing “ain’t it awful” with your friends against the candidate you dislike has little purpose but to keep you riled up and vibrating with negative energy. (After awhile, if you’re forwarding endless emails poking fun at one candidate or fomenting fear, rather than sharing objective information, you may want to reconsider.) Why not do something positive with your passion, like volunteer for the party of your choice or send a financial contribution to help your candidate win?

-- Listen objectively to views opposing yours. Sarah Palin does not lack intelligence, even though she may be uninformed about things some voters consider crucial. Barack Obama is not some sort of “Muslim Manchurian candidate,” a great summary of the latest flap by Jake Tapper, Senior National Correspondent for ABC News. And even if you think John McCain is too old and out of touch to be your choice, he gets my vote for making the most compassionate political move I’ve observed of late. He asked people at his town hall meeting to tone down their inflammatory rhetoric about Obama, who thanked him for it publicly.

-- Take political humor with a grain of salt. My husband and I love to watch Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO. Bill is liberal to the extreme. Sometimes hyperbole helps a person solidify where they stand. I respect many of Bill’s conservative guests and often take their points, even though their views differ from mine overall. I am unhappy, though, with Bill’s rants against people of faith. He thinks all people with spiritual beliefs are childish idiots, who cannot think for themselves. This is a mild paraphrase of language he uses on his show. According to his bio, Bill’s father was Irish Catholic, his mother Jewish, and he was raised Catholic. I relate to this combo and some of the angst it can cause (raised Catholic in a Jewish neighborhood. Talk about guilt!) Bill could have become a man of true tolerance with his exposure to two religions. Instead, he has thrown out the baby with the holy water. He makes fun of believers, insisting they cannot be both intelligent and spiritual. Still, one of my friends who suffered much pain because of religion finds his humor hysterically healing. I would have, too, at a different phase in my life. I am lucky to have worked through my early religious traumas—to have put them in perspective. I don’t feel like seeing his film, Religulous, no matter how tongue-in-cheek or funny. To see his movie would be a vote for intolerance and misinformation—a step back to sulk in old pain—even though I support his right to make it and even to make fun of me. But is it peacemaking? Maybe, ultimately, for those it helps heals, but not for me. On political topics, Bill criticizes the current administration relentlessly for what he considers warmongering. Maybe he could make peace by looking at his wordmongering.

What You Say Matters
I have been on a spiritual quest most of my life. It has taken me to the doors of many different churches, temples, and mosques, whether as a seeker or visitor. It has helped me appreciate the gold in many faiths and how so many of the core teachings are the same. Same God/Spirit, different flavors—like the Baskin & Robbins of Beliefs. All ice cream tastes good. Why would we diss and hiss at people who like Fudge Ripple instead of Vanilla Bean? You could argue this is oversimplified, but one’s spiritual path, or lack thereof, is really a matter of taste and resonance.

Same goes for politics, the other heated topic. My example of the same-sex marriage decision in California brings politics and religion together. It’s becoming more difficult to separate them, even in a country founded on the separation of church and state. I’m not sure where we draw the line. Most of our politics come out of our ethics, formed for most of us by our spiritual beliefs. What both Fr. Farrow and Rev. Cole have done is to speak their truth with congeniality, as St. Catherine advised, with respect toward those who disagree with them. This echoes the same kind of peaceful protest I was first exposed to, as a child, by Rev. Martin Luther King.

Perhaps the best “between the eyes” commentary on our habit of letting our emotions and language run wild was spoken by a fictional politician, Senator Robert McAllister, on the TV show Brothers and Sisters. Played by Rob Lowe, Sen. McAllister angrily asks his wife’s high- drama family to stop acting like children who blurt out everything they feel unedited and to “get some filters.” That’s what grown-ups do, even if it’s difficult.

Words are our medium of communication and understanding. We make or break peace every day by how we use them. I invite you not just to visualize “word peace,” but also to verbalize it in every sentence you speak.

In the powerful words of an unforgettable song, Let There Be Peace on Earth, and Let It Begin with Me.

Turn on the Lights!

In the beginning was Creativity.

It expressed itself as Light.

It wasn’t just any light; it was the biggest bonfire in the universe. It shone so brightly, it was eternal. It could never be put out.

But being the Light in the Dark was lonely. Shining was fun, but it would be more fun to reflect the light off others and to share it.

So Creativity divided and cast off sparks of Itself.

But Creativity also spawned Intrigue. The sparks could not know they came from the bonfire. They had amnesia. The game would be to rediscover—using their own creativity—they were part of the Original Light … and, ultimately, to return to the Light.

Along the way, these individual sparks would almost touch the truth. They’d join with other sparks and create a brushfire. It was exhilarating!

As they lived their lives, made mistakes, and righted themselves on their course through experience, the sparks would—now and then—have a get a glimmer of a bonfire. These were times when they would join lights and create the biggest fire they had ever seen so far. They were times like births, deaths, weddings—anytime love is reflected in large quantities for them to feel a part of.

Ultimately, the good players got that everyone is a spark of the Great Altogether—of Creativity Itself.

Once the light dawned, their time on Earth was nearly as bright as it would be on the day they would return to the Biggest Bonfire in the Universe—to Creativity—and Love—Itself.

Here we are in the Season of Light. I hope I have just told a Creation Story that can appeal to anyone, regardless of belief.

In one way or another, all major religions celebrate light as we approach the darkest day of the year on Winter Solstice—December 21st. Some do it out loud; others more quietly.

The earth religions honor the Sun god at the Solstice and pray for his safe return, knowing all life evolves around light.

In a play on words too good to pass up, Christianity celebrates the birth of another Son … the one who told us, “You are the light of the world.” Certainly, he was a light, but notice, he made a point of telling us we are also the light.

Jews celebrate Chanukah—a miracle of light—of lanterns that kept burning and saved the day when they should have run out, a kind of loaves and fishes story with the element fire …

Lastly, Muslims celebrate Hajj, the annual trip to Mecca all adults of sound mind must do at least once in their lifetime. The ritual promotes the bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood by showing everyone is equal in the eyes of Allah. Sounds, to me, like an affirmation of the One Light.

So, you have to wonder why so many people on the planet still don’t get it.

Don’t let that get you down—the wars over differences in religion, opinion, or other ridiculous things we fight about as human beings.

This holiday season, do the one and only thing you can really do about it. Just go out there and let your light shine. Turn on your lights! Fire spreads in a divine domino effect …

… and remember every time you see a light, to be a light …

Ultimately, the good players will get that everyone is a spark of the Great Altogether—of Creativity Itself.


Once the light dawns, your time on Earth will be nearly as bright as it will be on the day you return to the Biggest Bonfire in the Universe—to Creativity—and Love—Itself.

Author's note: Some of the basic concepts in this essay come from channeled material called The Michael Teachings. If these ideas intrigue you, please visit this link or one of the many sites devoted to this spiritual slant on the universe that has always made so much sense to me. I was introduced to these teachings by Stephen J. Cocconi, who also has a fascinating site on the Teachings.

Happy Autumn Equinox!

While I may not practice astrology professionally anymore, I have integrated many aspects of it into my life for good. One of them is celebrating the change of seasons at the solstices and equinoxes. It was easy for me to appreciate those turning points: I was born on the cusp of autumn. Bet you can’t guess my favorite season.

You don’t have to be into astrology to know that the quarterly shifts in weather are a crossroads and sacred time. Many people don’t realize how much the earth religions have influenced other religions—the ones that revere nature and just such changes--including Christianity. There are many parallels between them, including the recognition that outer changes mirror inner growth. Most of us know the Bible quote popularized in the early ‘60s song by Pete Seeger, Turn, Turn, Turn:

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens. "

--Ecclesiastes 3:1

I have always been a seeker, and I have enjoyed a rich spiritual life since Day One, thanks to my family and my own Virgo tendencies toward perfection—my desire to live life to the best and fullest. Combine that with a lot of planets in Libra, the sign that craves balance and harmony, and it’s not surprising that my spirituality has been eclectic. It’s easy for me to see the best of many different traditions. After all, I want to find what we can agree on and appreciate about each other’s perspectives.

Now you have the context for how I started a group of women in the late ‘80s that celebrates the change of seasons. Many of us attended an annual candlelighting service at our local Unity Church. We loved it but wanted more. We were still in the afterglow of the Harmonic Convergence, that August 1987 event where people went to various sacred sites on Earth to pray for peace and harmony. It was a time of ecumenical spirituality and oneness, and celebration of the Winter Solstice seemed the most all-inclusive to us; so, that’s where we started.

Soon, our circles once a year just weren’t enough, and we expanded them to the other quarterly solstices and equinoxes. As often as possible, we celebrate at the river, the outdoor cathedral of God/Goddess/All That Is. Our members have varied beliefs with a shared faith in open-mindedness. We borrow from every tradition you can think of—Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, pagan. Our rituals are nothing if they are not creative, and various women take turns putting them together. Even though it’s a circle of women, we owe our nickname, the Solsisters, to a man. (Thanks, Evan!) He was the boyfriend of my close friend and my primary partner in creating these events out of ordinary time. I don’t know if he feels it, but I think Evan gets a blessing every time we say the word.

Over the years, a backbone of liturgy has been borne out of our group efforts. Each celebration has the same basic sections, but the content is completely original. As originator and long-time leader, my Catholic roots could not help but shine through, especially in calling the sharing section communion. There is nothing like checking in on each other’s lives quarterly and watching how we grow.

As individuals and in community, those check-ins are so vital to seeing our own milestones as works in progress. We laugh, we cry, we go to dinner together afterwards (another communion) … but the most important thing is that we have created a support system, a community of spirited women who care about each other on the physical, emotional, and spiritual levels. You can have one, too! Just find a few kindred spirits to get the ball rolling. The Internet is oozing with ideas for rituals and celebrations. The Internet is our most important, silent Solsister.

I wanted to share this history early on, because the Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights phenomenon is more than a series of books and blog posts to me. It is an extension of what I started with the Solsisters, which would be nothing if it weren’t for the others who joined the party.

We have the power to create partnerships, circles, and to celebrate life however we want. We have tools literally at our fingertips.

My vision is to create a planetary shift where we join intentions to change outcomes, just like the original concept of the Harmonic Convergence. All the Earth is sacred. It doesn’t matter where you live. Start where you are.

The tarot deck I used to read from, the Motherpeace, has a card that reflects my vision called The World. It shows lots of people dancing around a Pied Piper-like Earth Mom. Another image I love and recently purchased is from Shiloh Sophia McCloud, called Dancing Our Prayers. Let’s do the prayer dance of peace around the world!

Women are wired for peace as the birthers, nurturers, and ultimately, crones or wise women. Sally Field said it at the Emmys recently, whether or not she was bleeped for cursing the war.

Men, too, have these qualities—some more on the surface, some more deeply hidden. As they age, that side of men often emerges. This is true for women and qualities we regard as “masculine.” As we round out as human beings, we express the best of both complementary energies. That’s why boomers can do so much good. We have arrived at a time when our inner opposites are more in balance. We have made peace within ourselves. Now we can take on the world.

Let’s put peace on the wire, the Internet, and send it around the globe to create a circle of love, friendship, and practical problem solving.

Have a gorgeous autumn! It is, after all, the season of harvest and fulfillment. I hope you share my dream.