Boomer Survey on Love, Sex, and Intimacy

Boomer readers! Got something to say on these subjects?

This is a between-the-posts announcement to alert you to some exciting happenings on my friend Eileen Williams' blog, The Feisty Side of Fifty! Eileen recently interviewed and posted information about a love, sex, and intimacy survey being conducted by Suzanne Braun Levine. Suzanne is the founding editor of Ms. Magazine, who worked there for 17 years, a friend of Gloria Steinem's. Suzanne has written several books on boomer women and related topics.

She also has created a questionnaire to get you thinking about marriage, partnerships, and other relationships you’ve experienced over the years. So take a few minutes and let her know how you’ve grown and changed since you hit midlife. You can email your answers to info@suzannebraunlevine.com

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Visit the link to Feisty Side of Fifty for the complete text of the questionnaire. As a thank you gift, the first 10 respondents will receive a free copy of Suzanne's best selling book, 50 is the New Fifty, so be sure to include your name and address. (Your responses to the questionnaire will remain anonymous.)

May you learn more about love and life in the process!

Intersections

When I took training in collaborative decision-making—a way to get groups to come to consensus—it became obvious to me that this is the only kind of solution that actually works. It involves giving up only what didn’t really matter to you, anyway, and becoming open-minded on how to get what does.

Solutions That Work for Everyone

In problem solving, if everyone doesn’t get something they can live with, they will sabotage the plan or simply not play. They’ll take their ball and go home. Nothing will improve. Status quo. Much ado about nothing. Time wasted.

Of course, we all know that finding common ground isn’t as easy as it sounds. It takes maturity—none of that dropping the ball stuff. Getting better at finding commonality, over time, is one of the gifts of experience. Success, joy, and happiness in life depend on learning to see where we intersect with others, where we can agree or design a new way to do things that’s OK with everyone involved.

Us ‘n’ Them is so much easier. No one has to put forth any effort except to dig themselves deeper into the rut they’re in and not move. Very little work is involved, especially of a mental or spiritual nature. You don’t have to expand your ideas, entertain the notion that you might not have the only—or even the best—solution. You get to sit on your butt. You don’t have to grow or worst of all, grow up.

Not only does this lack maturity and creativity, it is boring. It is so same-old, same old. Who needs it?

Imagine, instead, starting this chain reaction of vision, all around you: Now the highest part of everyone concerned, in whatever dilemma or challenge, will come up with a fabulous, creative solution, because you’ll let that essence of him and her out to play.

How do we create that environment?

A Safe, Creative, Comfortable Atmosphere

For starters, believe in the best in everyone—that we have a Higher Self able to do amazing things if s/he is simply set free. Identify the goals you want to achieve, and then trust that order will come out of chaos if you just allow group process to reveal itself without any help from you, thanks, especially if you’re the boss, parent, or a controller by nature. Chaos to order seems to be one of those odd pairs of opposites that occur in causal order when left alone. Think of the cacophony of potential sounds that blare in the head of a musical genius before they ultimately become a symphony. If you believe in the Bible, think of the original order out of chaos that only took a week.

Everyone has true genius when goodwill and a good setting are provided for troubleshooting. People love to solve problems and grapple with issues when they are safe, fed, comfortable, and their capabilities are held in high esteem.

One of the greatest gifts from my parents was their trust in my ability to figure things out for myself. “We know you’ll do the right thing, baby” was one of my mom’s mantras. I lived up to it.

In contrast, one of my friends had parents who didn’t trust her as far as they could throw her. They even had her followed and spied on. She lived down to their opinion of her.

Create environments with big intersections, places where people can easily discover their commonalities or become stimulated to consider new ideas and expand themselves till their lanes cross. I remember my excitement when I first learned the word synergy, the idea that the sum is equal to more than its parts. If two heads are better than one, imagine a room full of minds dancing. This atmosphere is best achieved where deadlines are reasonable, the stakes are high, and everyone stands to benefit from the best outcome. Comfort and ambience help-- anything that builds trust and bonding among the team members before or during their solution sessions.

This model can be applied between two people in a marriage, several in a family, lots in an organization—wherever two or more are gathered.

Where in your life can you build a road where intersections are plentiful and people get to a green light together?

What an alternative to road rage or gridlock.

~~~

Photo Credit: © Rudyumans Dreamstime.com

IT’S A SIGN! No Soliciting: Religion and Religious Literature Included

Normally the “signs” we talk about on Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights are figurative. Things like dream symbols, synchronicities, and signs of the zodiac.

Today, I’m here to announce that you can buy my sign! No, I don’t mean Virgo. (Not too many people would take that one on by choice, much less pay for it. Too much work, one of the things Virgos are famous for!)

I’m literally talking about the no soliciting sign on my front door, which I wrote about in May in the post, The “No Soliciting” Sign. Turns out it was my most visited blog post of all time—hundreds of visitors each month-- and the most discovered by key word searches. Seeing those blog statistics made me realize that my personal sign could fill a need. It cried to become a product to be shared.

With the help of my graphics guru, Terri Dennis of Graphica Design—we’ve made updated version of the original sign ready to print and frame—and a new one, displayed on this post.

Both can be viewed in larger, watermarked versions on the Spirited Products page of my website, joycemason.com. You can download a watermark-free and image-credit-free version to print out through PayPal on my website, linked in the first line of this paragraph or in the sidebar of this blog.

Availability and Pricing

Each is available as an 8.5 x 11 PDF download for $3, which you can color print on the paper or cardstock of your choice, then frame it yourself. Alternatively, each can be purchased as two side-by-side 5 x 7 prints. The pair on one sheet are ready to trim, print out and frame—also $3. Pop them into an inexpensive frame (the Dollar Stores are great resources)—and voilà! You, too, will be freer of doorbell—including dogma—interruptions.

Please e-mail me if you have any questions, comments, or feedback. The prints for framing are a test balloon. If the products sell as well as the blog traffic suggests, I’ll explore offering a ready-to-hang product as a plaque or ready-framed in the future.

~~~

Image credits: © 2009 by Joyce Mason, All Rights Reserved. Art by Graphica Design.

Text underneath watermark: Please don’t ring. /We can’t talk or buy, /Survey, give, or get saved./ Here’s why:/ We need one place to retreat …

Oracular Spectacular!

A Primer on the Use of Astrology, Tarot, Dreamwork and Other Oracles

© 2009 by Joyce Mason

At Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights, I often talk about “playing the symbols.” This imaginary one-person band involves putting together everyday waking signs and synchronicities and sleeping dream ciphers for some resounding insights. Alternatively, we can seek guidance from symbol systems or oracles. In this article, also posted on joycemason.com, I hope to introduce you to—or expand—your knowledge of oracles and their value.

Q: What do tarot cards, fortune cookies, astrology, dreams and meaningful coincidences all have in common?

A: All can be used as oracles

“Oracle” has many meanings from hokey to holy. I am most interested in #5 in the Dictionary-com definitions, namely a divine communication or revelation.Oracles are symbol systems that help us receive insights or spiritual communications. I believe the Source of their inspiration follows strictly the orientation of the seeker. When you open yourself up to divine inspiration, the Holy Spirit, your Higher Self—however you see good guidance according to your personal beliefs—those are the forces that will shine through when using these symbols. If you are fearful, or if you want your “fortune told” where you have no power or spiritual backbone to co-create your own dreams in divine partnership, don’t be surprised to find negative energy in a tarot reading or other symbol system consultation.

Toolbox
Like any tool, oracles can be used for higher good or dubious intent. Think of a knife. In the hands of a skilled surgeon or premier chef, this tool can perform miracles of healing or nurture. In the hands of a serial killer—not. Like all tools, oracles run the gamut of agony and ecstasy. Again, the difference lies in the hands of the user. With oracles, the seeker often uses a medium—a consultant—rather than consulting the cards or other symbols directly, although people do both, of course. That’s why choosing your consultant is especially important if you use one.

The Medium Is the Message
Let me start with a couple of bad examples. I once worked with a woman who consulted a well-known, local astrologer on all her investments and life decisions. This was in the 1970s, but I swear, if ATMs were in operation back then, she’d have consulted her “friend” before she made a $20 cash withdrawal.

You can probably predict what I’m going to say without an astrology chart. Ultimately, my workmate lost her shirt by turning her power over to this woman’spredictions. It was a stark lesson about making a god of either the symbol system or the medium. Ironically, the astrologer also worked herself out of a job. They both lost. After all, how could my workmate continue to pay her for advice after she lost everything?The most horrible story I ever heard—same astrologer—was a reading wherein she predicted the exact date and time of a male client’s death—and he died exactly when she predicted! I was utterly appalled; convinced she had literally scared him to death. Few people would want to know this information. To ask for it, is—well—asking for it!

Still, I believe to this day that the astrologer in question abused her power over this man. Astrology can be (pardon the pun) dead accurate, but she would have no way of knowing his fate. Even if she did, “pronouncing” it took away any personal power he had over the outcome, which was not necessarily sealed. Specific predications can be a real power trip. (That’s why I refuse, personally, to make them.) The same symbols can portend literal death or any other major, life-changing transformation while the person remains embodied. Did the astrologer contribute to his death? Depressing thought, but I think it explains why these tools have sometimes had a terrible reputation. It’s all in how they’re used. Fortunately, in general, they tend to be used for higher good by most people I encounter nowadays.

Positive Outcomes
Examples: As a consultant, I have helped people out of thorny dilemmas and have foreseen the potential for happy marriages later realized in tarot or astrology readings. I use oracles directly for myself on an ongoing basis, and now with years of practice my use of them is refined. I am able to see new angles to problems and personal tendencies I want to change. Symbols never cease to amaze me with their simple wisdom.

How Does It Work?
My theory is that oracles work like a symbolic mirror and magnet. Symbols have strong universal meanings. Much is contained in their simple patterns, and more importantly, the person who seeks guidance will fill in the blanks with the personal details needed to make the symbols meaningful.The magnet part: Everything on earth has an energy field; every person and thing resonates. When we seek guidance, we are drawn to the energy—or it is drawn for us through the reader—that matches the frequency of the issue on which we want guidance. When you shuffle a tarot deck, for example, and put the energy of your question into the cards, the “right ones” fall into the layout. Magical!

It’s no different with any of the other symbol systems. We are drawn to want an astrology reading when the vibration of the issue is creating internal pressure for resolution, so we seek out an astrologer when we have significant transits or activity in our astrology charts. Our subconscious gives us dream material, asdoes our internal synchronicity machine, our magnet for meaningful coincidence.Once when I taught a dreamwork class, I spoke about encountering people I was thinking about or repeated encounters on a topic I felt were “signs.” A surprised participant said, “You talk about real life the same way as dreams.” Exactly! When we have the eyes to see, the symbols and signs are all around us. Our subconscious is in constant dialogue with us, and when we pay attention, we can get limitless Higher Direction.

I Want to Try It. Where Do I Start?
If you haven’t done this before or haven’t done much of it, here are my suggestions—probably good for seasoned oracle users, too:

1. What system appeals to you most? Start there. If astrology fascinates you, go there first. If you can’t remember dreams, maybe you need a little more work on bringing the subconscious to waking awareness before you can use this one.Do tarot cards call you? Runes? The I Ching? If you don’t know, visit a metaphysical bookstore where you can look through many of the symbol sets or books on them like a kid at Christmas. Let yourself be drawn to the images or system that calls you.

2. Approach oracles with the wonder of a child. These systems are completely about connecting guidance to your own inner tracking device, your intuition. Play with them and respect them with wide-eyed wonder. Their optimal guidance will flow through your openness.

3. Get trusted referrals for consultants. A personal referral from someone you know and trust who has seen this particular astrologer, tarot reader, or dreamworker is always best. The metaphysical bookstore or resource center isanother source. Try someone at a local psychic fair—the one with the longest line! Reputation rules when it comes to trusting someone to work these channels with you. If someone “doesn’t feel right,” don’t open yourself to that person.

4. Take what fits, toss the rest. This was the advice of my first mentor in all things intuitive, the late, great Betty Bethards, a San Francisco Bay Area psychic and meditation teacher. I have lived by it with optimal results. No “reader" can be 100 percent accurate because his or her own experiences can’t help but influence interpretation, at least a little. That can be handy, if they have like experiences and lessons to learn, or it can put you off track, if they don’t.

While most good readers do their best to avoid putting their own “stuff” into interpretations, the translation of symbols is a tricky business. The analogy I like to use is a ballpark. It’s easy to get into the right ballpark or neighborhood on an interpretation because of the breadth of content each universal symbol holds. That’s what makes them so powerful, like the oak tree contained in an acorn.

However, to find the right seat in the ballpark really takes reaction, dialogue, and sorting from the seeker. If you don’t actively participate, you will suffer pronouncements instead of helpful insights. Which brings me to the final point:

5. Be an active participant in all readings with a consultant. Ask questions. Give your opinion. Say when something feels right or when it feels off. Be sure you walk away getting your key concerns covered. It might not be quite as complicated as being a patient in an HMO system, but the idea is the same as navigating this bureaucratic form of medical care. You have to be your own patient/seeker advocate. The best readers will welcome you as a co-pilot on the adventure of going a layer deeper into your inner growth during your time together. You enter the sacred ground of your psyche together. Your reader needs to respect the inner sanctum, your needs, and your help to make it a meaningful journey.

Sealed with a Ms.
I thought it would be fun to draw a tarot card to seek Higher Guidance in wrapping up this article. At first when this idea came to mind, I thought, “Huh?” Using these tools has made me respect these inspirations, no matter how sillythe light bulb over my head might seem at first.Turns out, I’m also going to be able to illustrate how anything can become an oracle. I “got” that the words I should Google were “tarot oracle.” They led me to a new deck I hadn’t heard of, literally called the Tarot Oracle. Click on the link and look at the Magician Card, that Mystical Ms. She’s for us; I’m convinced of it! She’s juggling the stars and her key words are Intuition, Taking Chances.Take a chance on your intuition. Oracles will expand your sense of inner knowingness and connection to All That Is.


Photo Credit: ESOTERIC ATMOSPHERE © Starblue Dreamstime.com

For more on oracles, including How I Read Tarot Cards and some of my favorite ones to use, visit the Oracles page on joycemason.com.

IONS at the Movies: Ideas and Tools to Change the World (Part 2 of 2)

In Part 1 of this two-part series on the Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS), my friend Janet Walden introduced us to this unique and transformative organization. Founded by astronaut Edgar Mitchell, IONS brings within our reach the world’s greatest thinkers on the leading edge of merging science and spirituality.

Now we’re taking it to the movies! Janet is about to share with us how she and her friends bring these ideas home in the most wonderful way, by creating an inspirational video circle on a monthly basis.

Joyce: Janet, tell us how you created the movie-viewing group with your local IONS community here in the Sacramento Area.

Janet: Along with my two dear friends, Bob and Carolyn Blackstone, I shared an interest in being inspired by the many wonderful speakers we had heard at various conferences over the years. These leaders are people who are making a difference, have a vision of a better world, and are exploring the unknown of human capacities and the interconnection of science and spirit. So, we decided to look through our video collections and start watching and discussing some of them.

Our interest in these inspirational movies was strong enough that,to this day, we three would be watching films together once a month —even if no one else participated!

But it has turned out to be much more than that. As we are all active members of SacIONS, we decided to let others in SacIONS know when we were getting together to watch the videos. Then we got a little more organized and also started listing which films we were watching. Next, we wrote and included our descriptions of the films and why we thought they were fascinating or inspiring.

We chose Sunday afternoons, and I said I would host and make popcorn. (Popcorn at the movies, right?) Here’s where we are today:

~ We have 10 to 20 people joining in our discussion circle each month.

~ We are a very informal, drop-in group – no RSVP’s.

~ People have started bringing all manner of delicious food, so we eat very well!

~ Together as a group, we discuss and then select the videos we will screen; and the person who recommends each film we choose writes a description for us.

~ We have an email list of everyone who is interested in our group, and once a month, I send out the upcoming dates and films we will be screening.

~ We usually watch two or three films in an afternoon. After each film (and sometimes during) we share our perceptions, questions, and personal stories relating to the topic. These discussions are informal and free flowing. Sometimes they are short, sometimes long. Although we advertise our session times as 2:30 to 5 p.m., we often run late, and sometimes we have to hold one movie over to the next month because we run out of time.

Joyce: What are your top five favorite inspirational movies, seen at the IONS group? Tell us a little about them--how to access them--and we’ll link to additional information.

Janet: This is a very tough question! We have been operating for several years now, and have seen many fine films!

Early on, we had several films recommended to us from the Spiritual Cinema Circle. One in particular stands out as a favorite of mine: Ryan’s Well. It is a very inspiring story of a young boy who learns in school about the need for clean water in Africa, and becomes very active in raising money and helping a particular village. There is no way a mundane description such as this can do justice to this wonderful, little documentary film!

Many of my favorites, although coming from a variety of sources, have one similarity: They feature the lives and work of individuals who are making a huge, positive difference in the world. Some examples are: Hafsat Abiola and Lynne Twist on Living a Committed Life, a keynote address at the 2007 IONS conference; Bill Strickland’s keynote address at the International Conference on Business & Consciousness in 2008; and several recipients of the IONS Temple Awards for Creative Altruism, including Wayne Muller of Bread for the Journey and Stan Brock of Remote Area Medical. While I’m on the topic of great presentations at IONS conferences, all IONS films can be obtained from Conference Recording Service in Berkeley, CA; and Bill Strickland’s keynote was recorded by The Message Company in Santa Fe.


Another film that impressed me was a biography of Nicholas Roerich called Messenger of Beauty. Roerich lived from 1874 to 1947 and painted over 6,000 pictures of extraordinary beauty. It is available through The Nicholas Roerich Museum and from The Theosophical Society in America. Amazon.com carries a complementary art book.

Earth, Air, Fire, and Water: We are the environment. There is no distinction.
~ David Suzuki

We have also screened some wonderful presentations from scientists, such as Brian Greene’s The Elegant Universe. The full three-hour film series is linked here on PBS. You can watch it free. (If you want a shorter taste and preview, here’s a 10-minute YouTube video, Elegant Universe -- Can String Theory detect God? ). I also recommend the work of David Suzuki. (Big ditto from Joyce, especially his environmental documentary, Suzuki Speaks.) Other favorites of mine include the PBS shows featuring green architect William McDonough.

Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention another great source for several fine films we have viewed—the Earth Cinema Circle. Among my favorites in this category are: Kilowatt Ours, a documentary made by a young man who investigated where our electricity comes from, and Coffee to Go, which explores where our coffee originates and the path it travels. This film inspired us to begin purchasing fair trade coffee to serve at the Video Circle.

Joyce: This recap is exciting to hear—and it’s even more exciting to watch the actual films when I attend the Video Circles. I want our readers to know how they can start one, too! Please tell us.

Janet: It’s really easy and fun to sponsor the Video Discussion Circle. Because it’s very informal and everyone contributes, it doesn’t involve much work at all. It does need a shepherd, which is my role. I make sure our dates get selected well in advance and that we gather and publish our film descriptions in a monthly email.

I think we are a popular and successful group because everyone enjoys the learning and inspiration we gain from the films and from each other through our discussions.

Joyce: Janet, in wrapping up these movie reviews of this unique film genre-- and also our two-part series on IONS-- I have to say that just like Edgar Mitchell’s epiphanies from the higher vantage point of the Moon, IONS has continued to offer me the perspective from On High. It is one of the few organizations I have returned to, on an ongoing basis, in my own personal spiritual quest.

Thank you for bringing your time, talent, and evolutionary energy to Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights. I hope you’ll come back anytime you discover something you think would be of interest our readers. I’ll definitely be asking!

~~~

Janet Walden is the President & CEO of the Center for Collaborative Solutions , a non-profit organization with a mission and a passion for unleashing the power of people working together. Janet can be reached at JEWalden@aol.com.


Photo Credit: MOVIE STUBS AND POPCORN © Antonprado Dreamstime.com

IONS: Ideas and Tools to Change the World (Part 1 of 2)

My guest for the next two posts in Janet Walden, a dear friend who does admirable work in the community helping people to come to collaborative, peaceful decisions in a number of important realms like schools and the workplace.

Besides being a member of my personal, spiritual support team: Janet ignited my interest in the Institute of Noetic Science or IONS. Through her connection and commitment to IONS, Janet has brought an ongoing blast of fresh air to my mind. The IONS organization brings the world’s greatest thinkers on the leading edge of merging science and spirituality within our reach. It’s poignant to me that IONS was founded by astronaut Edgar Mitchell. The first view of the Earth from the Moon was his—and our—real opportunity to “get” that we are each other, that we live in an ecosystem, and that every individual act influences the whole. Enjoy this inner and outer space odyssey!

What is IONS?

Joyce: Janet, thank you so much for visiting Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights and sharing an ongoing source of spiritual inspiration and spirited living with us. Tell us the basics about IONS.

Janet: The Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS) is a non-profit organization that grew out of the vision of the founder, astronaut Edgar Mitchell, the lunar module pilot of Apollo 14.

On his way back from the moon, Dr. Mitchell had a profound experience of the interconnectedness of all life.

Trained as a scientist and engineer, this “knowing” came to him completely beyond the traditional ways he was used to. He founded IONS to broaden our knowledge of the nature and potentials of mind and consciousness--to study how we “know” things. The word “Noetic” comes from the Greek word noetikos, which means inner/intuitive knowing.

Here’s a One Minute Shift video from IONS that recaps one of Dr. Mitchells epiphanies in space.

Today, IONS is a trail-blazing organization applying the scientific method to studying the phenomenon of consciousness. IONS encourages open-minded exploration of both science and spirit and is on the leading edge of helping to birth a new worldview that recognizes our basic interconnectedness and promotes the flourishing of all life. The IONS Mission is “to advance the science of consciousness and human experience to serve individual and collective transformation.”


How Can People Participate?

Joyce: I know there are many levels to participate in IONS, and since I have limited myself to a local connection, I hope you’ll expand on the realm of possibilities for our Hot Flashbacks readers to consider.

Janet: One of the most exciting ways to participate is to join IONS

Shift-in-Action membership program, which offers weekly teleseminars with leading thinkers, authors and other experts, and stores a host of interesting and inspiring interviews and other materials that are downloadable from the IONS website. It is a way to connect with a like-spirited community and learn the latest in cutting-edge science, consciousness and transformation.

Another wonderful way to participate is to attend IONS conferences and workshops. A third way is to join an IONS Community Group in your local area. IONS has over 200 of these groups on every continent in the world.

How Do You Participate Yourself?

Joyce: Janet, I know that you have really brought IONS home to our Sacramento area community in a special way. I think hearing about what we do locally will give readers an idea of the possibilities once they connect with this great organization.

Janet: I am a member of the IONS Sacramento Community Group (SacIONS) and am on their Leadership Team. We host regular monthly meetings that either bring in speakers on various topics of interest or engage participants in discussion of articles in IONS publications or other materials. For example, we have had speakers ranging from best-selling authors such as Hank Wesselman and Angeles Arrien, to local practitioners of various healing modalities. Discussion topics, when we don’t have a speaker, have included exploring peak experiences and the relationship between science and art.

I also attend IONS biannual international conferences, which bring together so many inspiring speakers! (Through the conference link, you can purchase recordings and bring the conferences right into your living room.) And I am a Shift-in-Action member and participate in the weekly telephone interviews and conversations with leading thinkers as often as I can.

I also host a monthly SacIONS Video Discussion Circle. We meet in my home and screen a variety of fascinating videos. Members of the group recommend videos they think would be of interest, and the group then decides on our monthly viewing schedule. Types of films we have watched in the past include material from the Earth Cinema Circle, PBS documentaries, the Spiritual Cinema Circle and videos published by popular authors. Another favorite source is keynote addresses from IONS conferences, which have included such speakers as Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Lynne McTaggart, Joan Borysenko, Andrew Harvey and Van Jones. I’ll be writing about some of my favorite films we’ve discovered through the Video Circle on Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights next week.


Ideas That Inspire

Joyce: Janet, what or whose ideas have been most influential to you from your IONS experience?

Janet: This is a tough question, because there are so many! I am inspired by Lynne Twist’s work. Lynne is a Life Director of IONS and has recently formed the Pachamama Alliance – a group that draws together various cultures around the world working to bring about an environmentally sustainable, spiritually fulfilling, and socially just human presence on this planet. Bruce Lipton is another one. Bruce is a cellular biologist who has done groundbreaking work on the way the cells of our bodies really operate, which he explains in his book The Biology of Belief.

Fundamentally, I am attracted to the entire IONS community because it brings together and exposes us all to so many individuals who hold a vision of bringing about a better world, and who contribute so much to this effort.

IONS at Home and in Cyberspace

Joyce: Could you give us a final recap on where to find the IONS website and a starting point for readers to find a local chapter?

Janet: Everything can be found at http://www.ions.org/. On the home page, click on Community Network, and then on Visit the Shift in Action Community Groups Page, where all community groups are listed, including contact information.

Joyce: Janet, thanks so much for sharing your love of this organization with our spirited living community. You are the embodiment of the Age of Aquarius! (And, in case you didn’t guess, Janet is an Aquarius, in fact!)

~~~


Janet Walden is the President & CEO of the Center for Collaborative Solutions , a non-profit organization with a mission and a passion for unleashing the power of people working together. Janet can be reached at JEWalden@aol.com

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Up Next: Janet shares some of her favorite movies viewed at the SacIONS Video Circle. Prepare to discover a whole new genre of life-affirming, spirited living movies that you may have never heard of, but are easily accessible and affordable—perfect for shared viewing, as we do in Sacramento.

Cool Saging Conversations: Generation Segregation

Good Idea or Bad Medicine?

Boom is the sound the baby generation makes when it explodes the old Old. TM

Let me say upfront; there is no right answer to this question. At best, you might find the right answer for you.

I am proud to be a baby boomer. While I don’t necessarily broadcast my age, I don’t hide it, either. The postwar babies born between 1946 and 1964 are a unique generation with a generous span of fascinating life experiences. The question is whether we want to spend most of our time with “our own” as our main companions and primary influences.

My husband Tim and I talk regularly about whether we should consider a 55+ active community like Sun City. (We have two of that brand and several others in the greater Sacramento region.) He has some physical limitations, and I have some conditions that nag and potentially could become more than annoyances. If we moved to a mature adult community, it would make our neighbors all close to our own age or older.

Truth is, we relish our privacy and know only a few of our neighbors after living in our home eleven years. My communities stretch way beyond neighborhood geography considering cyber, work, and organizational connections. I can’t say we know any of our neighbors well, although we have a pleasant relationship with those we see regularly, especially our wonderful next-door neighbors. Yet there are potential physical barriers to our current home we love. This knowledge keeps us on the brink of realism about how long we can stay here.

My uncle lived in the family homestead on Long Island past the deaths of his parents and his sisters, who lived with him most of the time. He lingered there until shoveling snow and some of the other heavy work just became too much for him as he rounded 80. A few years ago, he moved to an active senior condo complex not far from his home of over 50 years. It was the best thing he’s ever done! His only regret is that he didn’t do it sooner.

Uncle Mike and his condo-mates are family to one another—they eat, drink, and play together on a frequent basis. There’s always a card game, a birthday to celebrate, an invite for dinner, or some trip they’re planning. Since moving there, Mike has been on cruises to the Mediterranean, Canada and the Caribbean—air and bus trips Las Vegas and the Saratoga, NY races and other “gambler specials.” The way the community cares for each other and its camaraderie are touching. We loved spending Thanksgiving at the condo a few years ago and meeting many of these lively people, not to mention all the amenities of a pool and gym on site.

I am a mind and spirit kind of person. It’s more important to me to be with kindred spirits than to be with a kindred age group. Like mindedness and a broad view from the mountaintop about life is the neighborhood I need to live in. Oddly, that’s often easier to find on the Internet than anywhere because here we connect mind to mind and heart to heart and by like interests. If we’re lucky, we might meet face to face someday. Still, I’m not naïve enough to think it’s good to be too homogenous when it comes to friends and family. That can quickly go from kindred spirits to cliquish or clannish—just a step away from exclusionary. I wonder for myself; where is the balance?

Other practical considerations: As we age, we lose friends and family at a faster pace. Tim’s sister and husband live in a 55+ active community where they are beginning to attend one funeral after another. Sometimes, their layers of grief on top of grief are hard to bear. Yet, they also feel solace knowing that whichever one of them goes first, the other will go on in a caring community of support. If for no other reason than the terrible prospect of being the last one standing, I am grateful that several of my close friends are 10-15 years younger than I am, especially since I don’t have children or grandchildren. Theoretically, I won’t outlive all my friends. Still, if I think about it, even the youngest among my close friends is technically a boomer, thanks to the fact that our generation is defined by an 18-year age span.

When I made the decision early this year to revision my blog, there were many reasons that motivated me. One I may not have emphasized; I was not comfortable with age segregation. It took a quote on Twitter from my cartoonist friends at Perrie Meno-Pudge that finally helped me realize why:

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. ~Judith Regan

There’s nothing that makes me feel older than talking about aging too much, even in a positive way. There’s nothing that makes me feel younger than diving into life and dealing with the petty annoyances of aging as comical asides and not the real drama.

Bottom line, I don’t want my age to define me. Of course there’s a place for boomer forums, how-to’s and humor, or I wouldn’t be writing this article. Yet, if we truly become what we give energy to, I think I’ll stay away from senior segregation and an age-related focus for now and keep feeding my timeless spirit.

And if a time comes when I don’t have a realistic choice but to live exclusively among the saging set, I’ll make the best of it—and hang out with the most young- at-heart and upbeat boomers in the batch to keep me on my toes!

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Cool Saging Conversations is an occasional feature retained from when Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights was geared to a baby boomer audience. When issues arise that impact our generation and I feel compelled to comment, the cool sages watching boomers blow up the old Old will come out. I hope our boomer readers still enjoy seeing them. As ever, your feedback is welcome.

A Special Happy Birthday to my sister, Janet—a regular reader of Hot Flashbacks. I won’t give away her age, but I have to rib her a little and tell you she’s the older sister, even if not by much!