Humor: The 10 (Actually, 11) Commandments of Twitter

As someone into cool insights, I take them wherever I find them. They come in great books, out of the mouths of babes, and sometimes scrawled in the oddest places, like the graffiti on the bathroom stall.

Lately, one of my best sources of wisdom is the social networking site, Twitter. Quotes, articles, shared learning—fun! Read my post on The Radical Virgo, “How the Signs Tweet,” if you’re a Twitter virgo/virgin for definitions and a few laughs that will catch you up on this bird lingo in a heartbeat. Meanwhile, an almost true story:

I was sitting in my computer chair, minding my own business, when I felt a big whoosh of air. A large voice that sounded like James Earl Jones said, “This is the Spirit of Twitter. Write this down.”

Being open both to channeling and to wisdom where ever I find it, I obeyed immediately. Here’s what he said:


1. I am thy social network, not thy god. If thou want to Facebook, LinkIn, MySpace, StumbleUpon—or whatever—have at it. Even if I were a god, I would not be a jealous one.

2. If thee tweet more than an hour a day, thou art worshiping a false idol. If you can’t cut down on your own, seek help. Suggestion: Someone out there, please invent Twitcorette gum.

3. Thou shalt not drop the name of Twitter in vain. Don’t be a show-off, dropping Twit terms outside the tweet stream like—well, a twit. Makes non-Twitterers feel out of it and unlikely to join the party. Be inclusive.

4. Take a day off from the Twitosphere at least once a week. Honor thy social networking Sabbath. See #2.

5. Honor thy mentors on Twitter. RT* and thank them often. Be a mentor to newbies. Help each other. (*Return tweet or forward their post.)

6. Thou shalt not killjoy. Rants, bummers, and other bursts of negativity do not belong here. Keep thy stream safe from destructive tidal waves.

7. Thou shalt not cheat on each other’s original ideas. Credit sources, whether quotes, forwards, or tweeps who gave you good advice or links.

8. Thou shalt not steal (hog) the tweet stream with 10-12 tweets in a row. Tweeple, please. Let’s do 3 max except in unusual circumstances. Serial tweeters on a daily basis are subject to unfollowing. This medium is meant for short-but-sweet. Put long posts on your blog or website and link.

9. Don’t badmouth tweeple. Leave twarma to higher powers. Unfollow and move on.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s clevers. You will learn in this global, anything-goes forum that many people are smarter, funnier, and wittier than thou. Instead of turning green, work your gray matter and discover another layer of your own creativity. Be inspired, not envious. Thou have it in you, too.


Finally, while 10 is usually the magic number, I’ve got one extra for you:

11. Judge ye not how thy neighbor uses Twitter. Everyone has different motivations. Quit complaining if not everyone you follow follows back. (See #9) Some tweeple actually want to read what their individual tweeps have to say, impossible when they number in the thousands. They prefer tweeps with ideas or issues in common. Conversely, selective followers: Live and let live when it comes to those who like to acquire followers in the tens of thousands, usually for business development purposes. There is room for everyone.

Just a few simple rules for playing nice and keeping the playground safe and wholesome.

The Word from On High from the All-Knowing Bird in the Sky.

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Identity Crisis

I love the name of this blog, Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights. That’s also the title of my memoir I hope to have out later this year. But it wasn’t always the name of my book.

The original title was Hot Flashes of Insight! In some ways, I liked it better for its connection between female hormones and hypersensitive perceptions. That link has been true and dramatic for me, especially around the time surgically induced hot flashes threw me into hot flashbacks. The flashbacks were memories and figurative light bulbs that haven’t stopped flashing since (1992).

With time, I came to realize that the accent was on the wrong sylLABle by using a title that centered on the words hot flashes. My memoir is not about menopause—nor is this blog. Menopause did play a role. The instant estrogen dip and its symptoms, raging out of control, ignited what I already had a lot of—rampant intuition. Even more so, hot flashes ignited instant memory videos of incidents that somehow tied together the themes and learning trajectories of my life. This continued long past menopause, which happened for me early at age 45, due to an illness that required the surgery. The flashbacks, not the flashes, were the gift; so, it made no sense to me to accent hot flashes, even if they were the catalyst. Besides, I’d just as soon forget that miserable era of my life when I was thrown into “the change” instantly and could not do hormone replacement for medical reasons. I was a weepy wreck!

Because of my blog and book name, “hotflashbacks” became my handle on a number of social networking sites, one of my main e-mail addresses, and a way people have come to know me. I don’t mind that. From the Fast Lane to Social Security, it’s fun to flash back on what we’ve learned in order to figure out where we’re going to go next and how to make it groovy.

It’s Really about the Cool Insights
I’ve been musing for some time now about how the more important part of the title is “cool insights.” If we can’t make sense and grow from our experiences, it’s all just an old movie. Maybe it’s a comedy, maybe a drama; maybe a bit of both. But the movie critic in me wants to know “What’s It All About, Alfie?” I want to learn from my mistakes and make new ones!

Identity Crisis: A Way of Life
Naming is powerful. One of the songs sung at the christening ritual at my church goes, “Praise to the One who called and named you, up from the waters into life.” It implies that a child’s name is divinely given, channeled from Above, and written in the Book of Life, long before a baby incarnates on Earth. Even in fiction, every character I name is with great purpose and meaning. In keeping with our ongoing discussions about affirmations, one’s name is their most personal affirmation, something that is reaffirmed constantly over a lifetime. My husband likes that I have “joy” in my name. Me, too. But on the darker side, how can we be surprised that Bernie Madoff “made off” with so much of other people’s money?

As an adopted person, I never knew my original name until I sleuthed it out when searching for my birth mom. I consider it my secret, spiritual name that I only share with close intimates. It’s a beautiful name in its own right, but it’s “not me.” That makes sense, too. When my birth mom made the difficult decision to give me up out of love and a promise for a better life with two parents present and participating, she named me as she saw me then. My name was her vision of who I would have been, had she been able to raise me herself. That was not my path; therefore, my original name is not my “real” name.

Joyce Mason is my name by adoption. I have had this name since I was three weeks old. For reasons I’ll explore in another post later this year, I have steadfastly refused to give it up for marriage or any other reason. I love that in numerology, it has a 22 vibration that parallels my birthday on the 22nd of the month. Twenty-two is a master number—in fact, it is known as The Master Builder. It reflects someone who builds on solid rock with a purpose greater than herself. My “brick layer” surname, Mason, says the same. Builds on solid structures. One of the many business identities I have tried on and used periodically for writing services, such as résumés, is Wordmason—my slogan, Words built to last. Then there is the Fraternal Order of Masons, a rather mystical organization. I have a huge dose of the mystic in me—yet another reason to love my name. All ‘round, it’s “my vibe.”

Identity Crisis du Jour
On Twitter, I can only have one screen name with a maximum of 15 characters. There, I’ve been known as “hotflashbacks,” but now I have two blogs and two unique identities—baby boomer and astrologer. I have actually had the astrologer identity much longer, since the late 1980s. It didn’t seem right to continue to be “hotflashbacks” when I now have at least one other hat or mask to wear.

I struggled between “coolinsights” or “coolinsighter” and simply using my name, “joycemason.” Whatever I write, cool insights are the motivation. They’re the juicy core of the Tootsie Pop. The subject or flavor doesn’t matter. Even my short stories and mystery novel are insight-laden. I was tempted to use “coolinsights” to keep half of the Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights brand front ‘n’ center.

In the end, I decided that I am the true common denominator in everything I write. My Radical Virgo blog advocates the importance of being who we are, especially our optimal selves, because who we are is our unique gift. One of my favorite sayings that says it all: It’s not what we do; it’s who we are. When we become our unique selves, we do what comes out of fulfilling our Self. That’s why it’s called fulfillment. The Radical Virgo advocates a psycho-spiritual approach to evolutionary astrology, where we rise to be the best of our unique pattern. It’s our imprint for the personal evolution of our body, mind, and spirit.

Even though I am less comfortable in the limelight than it looks, life has always demanded that I take the stage. Being “out there” may be a stretch, but if growth is what I’m about, I have to come all the way out of the closet. Whose cool insights are they, anyway? If my way of seeing the world is my gift to give, why call it anything else but what it is—mine? If Erma Bombeck were alive today, her Twitter handle wouldn’t be funnylady; it’d be ermabombeck. Oprah isn’t talkshowhost; she uses several variations of oprah.

So, joycemason is it. I doubt you'll forget I’m the one with the Hot Flashbacks, Cool Insights. Hopefully, what I write will be as memorable as who I am—intertwined and indistinguishable.

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What’s in your name? If numerology fascinates you, here’s a starter website,

Seven Top Numerology Sites Reviewed. Another way of exploring your name—besides learning the meanings of first, middle, and last—are anagrams. You’d be surprised what words might be lurking in your moniker! If you want to have fun exploring this option, visit Internet Anagram Server. Bring a beverage. You’re likely to be there a long time!

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